In many ways, the Beatles did us a bit of a disservice with their insistence that ‘all you need is love’. The refrain has been the thinking behind many an unwise relationship decision, and an excuse to continue in romantic situations that are otherwise littered with problems. But there’s no getting away from the fact that a life without love would certainly be a dull one, and the feeling of being in love does promote generosity and kindness. Do you think that love is all you need?
Love, in the strictly romantic, butterflies-in-stomach sense is what Valentine’s Day is all about, and there’s no harm in celebrating those feelings, even though everyone knows deep down that this type of love can only go a certain way to leading a happy and fulfilled life. After all, it’s quite possible to be infatuated with someone who can make you happy for the time being, but who lacks the necessary qualities for a stable, long-lasting relationship.
Different people have different ideas about what’s important in a relationship or prospective partner, and the rise of internet and speed dating has made us fussier than ever – in some cases, missing the more important point: that love without some degree of commitment, friendship and mutual respect can never really satisfy. In fact love, in isolation, can cause great misery, especially when it’s the unrequited sort!
That’s not to say it isn’t fun to celebrate with chocolates and roses, and Valentines is a great opportunity to spend quality time with your partner. It can be helpful to set aside a special time to focus on your relationship, on having fun together and planning for the future without getting swept up in the commercialism and hype. Why not make Valentines a time to think together about building on what’s great in your relationship and on what each partner can do to make things even better? There is quite simply nothing more romantic than knowing you can speak your mind, bring up difficult topics and tell your partner what would make you really happy without fearing the consequences!
True love, if it exists, may well encompass the qualities that make a relationship lasting and strong – in other words, all the ‘boring’ stuff that would probably never scan if they were crammed into a pop song about love. So perhaps the Beatles were right all along?
Image: Nattu
