Seriously, has there been a better time in your life to stop, reflect and get into a new groove? Let’s face it, 2010 has been somewhat of an annus horribilis, wouldn’t you say? The BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico is the worst ecological disaster the world has ever seen, the effects of which have spread from endangered sea turtles to Batley pensioners.

“The most hated and clueless man in America,” is what the press is saying. Your £450,000 a year pension might take the edge off the pain – for you at least – but you may also be in need of a lift, some spiritual sustenance maybe, perhaps even a sense that you’re “giving something back” to the world that’s not black and slimey.

To help, you could do worse (or in your case, far worse) than go Slow. Here are 10 ways to start:

1. Read “Four Fish”, by Paul Greenberg. It documents the journey of cod, tuna, salmon and sea bass from the ocean to your plate. If you’ve not learnt this lesson already, find out at least one reason why we need to protect our seas.

2. Go ride a bike. Cycling strengthens the body and clears the mind. And there’s no fuel required, so no awkward moments at petrol stations.

3. Bake bread. It’s physical, spiritual and humbling. Yes, humbling. Try it.

4. Take a train trip. Some might suggest you buy a one-way ticket on the Trans-Siberian Railway, but anywhere will do. Go standard class, and ask your fellow passenger about their pension worries.

5. Learn to meditate.

6. Spend time with your family. The wife and kids have allegedly been living in fear of recrimination. Do yourself and them a favour and spend proper time with them.

7. Start a charity. Surely, there will be no shortage of causes that will mean something to you now.

8. Write a diary, for reflection, not profit.

9. Grow your own veg. They do it in nursery schools now, so that kids grow up understanding how nature works, and to learn about care, commitment and patience.

10. Say sorry. To the communities that have lost their livelihoods, to the families that have lost loved ones, to all of us for blighting the sea.

Image: HaPe_Gera

Women are renowned for speeding up when heartbroken. Take Cheryl Cole for example. Her marriage falls apart, again, amidst more controversy surrounding husband Ashley Cole’s penchant for extra-curricular nocturnal acitivies, and what does Cheryl do? Cancel her commitments and hole up at home under the duvet for a month until the edge comes off the pain? No sir.

Cheryl sets out on the busiest work period of her career, trucks out to parties both sides of the Atlantic, flies long-haul for long weekends and wait for it, gets ill. Malaria forces a go-slow, and that’s some price to pay for getting off the crazy train.

But it’s not just women that are guilty. A male friend who shall remain nameless admitted to me recently that he packed his work diary with meetings abroad specifically so he didn’t have time to think about his disintegrating relationship. He was, simply, too heartbroken to go slow.

Arguably, slow living and heartbreak go hand-in-hand only for the brave. It takes a strong spirit to sit in contemplation, mindful and tuned in to the cadence of emotion when painfully aware that you’ll be contemplating loss and sadness.

The problem with speeding up when the love chips are down is that for the vast majority of people heartbreak doesn’t just disappear. Rather, it lurks behind the scenes waiting until a sick bug lays us low or redundancy empties our days, coming back to bite us on the bum when we least need it.

Resolution needs a period of reflection, a time of slowdown. You might be better off sobbing your way through the man-sized Kleenex, the pillow cases and the soft furnishings for a short while, rather than packing it all so far down under an itinery only Barak Obama, the Queen and Cheryl Cole can boast.

What’s your end of the affair style? Do you speed up or take it easy? Tell us here.

Well, on July 12, Honore’s full tweet went like this:

“Heading off to Halifax, Nova Scotia to sing the praises of Slow Food. And hopefully to eat some, too. Walk the talk, and all that….”

Readers, I’d be intrigued to know what you make of that. Far be it from me to forensically examine the tweet, word by word, or character by character in Twitter’s case, but what the heck, I’m going to.

Yep, it seems Honore likes food, walking, talking and erm, all that. Oh, and a bit of singing too.

Not interesting enough? Well, how about the fact that he tweeted from an iPhone? Yes, Mr Slow has an iPhone. No messenger sent on horseback for him, I tell you.

iPhones are the axe murderer of slow-style mindfulness. iPhone users can stand in a whirlwind and not notice the wind in their hair. How do I know? I’m an iPhone user too.Enough already?

You can take some more? Be careful. Ok. Honore tweeted from his iPhone on, wait for it, a Sunday morning, no doubt while his wife was bopping him on the head with a rolled-up Sunday Times in a bid to alert him to the children hanging from his chinos desperate for ten minutes of daddy’s attention before he’s up and off to Nova Scotia. I made this last bit up; I’ve no idea if he reads The Sunday Times.

I’m re-reading “In Praise Of Slow” at the moment, and it strikes me as a very good time to revisit some of Honore’s key observations.

One I’d like to stress in this post, particularly pertinent given the above, is that a Slow Life isn’t one lived like you’re a tortoise – unless you’re a tortoise that is – but a life lived at the RIGHT SPEED. Not so fast that you miss the detail, but not so slow that you miss the boat.

In my view, Twitter, not unfairly considered the communication tool for people too busy to type more than 140 characters, does have an appropriate place in a slow life. It frees me up to go slow on the big stuff, like how I raise my son, what I cook my family, what I do for a living, even.

I should also admit that I combine striving to live a Slow Life with being hooked on re-runs of 24 (isn’t that the ultimate irony? Perhaps we could rename it 48? Go Slow Jack Bauer!), can see my Tweetdeck in my sleep, and like to know which band the kids are listening to next, never mind now.

What do you think? Does Twitter have a place in a slow life? We’d love to hear your thoughts. Leave a comment here and you can do it in more than 140 characters too ;-).

Follow Carl Honore on Twitter

The phrase Death by PowerPoint, often chattered around meeting rooms is the contrary. Information – particularly in today’s over-saturated world – is not the necessity of people. Rather it is faith that they are looking for from within the information deliverer.

“Emotion” derives from the Latin for motivation, as well as movement.  This is to say that storytelling requires not only inspiration to action for the audience, but intention from the storyteller. There is no point speaking if you have nothing purposeful to say. That is the responsibility of the speaker to keep in mind.

Similarly, stories need to be fluid and adaptable: timelessness comes from an appreciation of being able to both present and interpret stories differently.

When you give your friends and family an account of your day, do you adjust your story to the intended audience; focus on the aspects that you know will make one friend in particular laugh? Do you speed through to get to the conclusion or do you consider the detail?

If you write an email rather than call or see a friend face-to-face, how do you judge their true response and learn how to tailor it for the future? Can you?

We have not necessarily lost storytelling but we often ignore the complexities surrounding the story that make it what it is. Twitter users have the ability to sum up their activities, thoughts, and beliefs in 140 characters or less. While they can both focus and communicate to a wider audience, tweeters can lose some of these precious interactions. Context is lost.

It is these exact embellishments on the version of events that we cling on to, that act as recall or us to retain the moral message that is implanted in each story. Yet if we rush through, frightened that others have more important things to say or do, we do not honour ourselves and we do not encourage an equality of voices or bestow understanding.

As individuals we look to understand why we are here, what we are here for, that we can share purpose and that we can not only sympathise but empathise with one another.

If you have ever heard a professional storyteller – such as a performance poet – you will see how they create a crescendo in their performance, slowly and carefully building the momentum, treating each word like a sip of wine, allowing you to get drunk and jolly in the words, before the reality check takes effect. Stories offer a force of persuasion.

Head to South Wales for the international storytelling festival Beyond the Border this weekend and experience for yourself the cultural diversity offered in oral tradition.

Image: Steve Snodgrass

Humans are naturally sociable creatures, so it’s no wonder we tend to seek out company whenever possible. But it’s good to remind ourselves once in a while that we don’t need other people around us at all times, and that a bit of quality me-time can be hugely beneficial to our general wellbeing.

Firstly, it can be rewarding to discover that we can face up to the world and its many challenges without the help of others. ‘Going it alone’, whether ‘it’ is a holiday, a project or just a daytrip somewhere can remove the sense of reliance on other people, and can be a great confidence boost. It can also feel tremendously freeing to have no responsibilities other than for ourselves, however briefly!

But far more importantly, periods of solitude teach us how to live with the one person we’ll never be apart from whatever happens: ourself. Having only our own thoughts to contend with can be difficult, challenging and even painful (there’s a reason why solitary confinement is considered a punishment in jails and in schools the world over!) because it forces us to come to terms with every last corner of our own minds.

In being alone, we come to know ourselves, and the very reason why it can be difficult is also why solitude is so essential to a clear and healthy mind. Taking time to reflect on what we’ve done, to learn from it and to face up to those inner ‘demons’ is a rewarding exercise, and in today’s hectic world, most people could benefit from doing it more often.

Finally, me-time can be a good opportunity to re-acquaint ourselves with what makes us who were are, free from the judgement or scrutiny of others. Whether that’s going shopping, watching old movies, baking dozens of cakes or dressing up, we need time to do the things that we really enjoy, whether or not our family members, co-workers or close friends ‘get it’. When you’re alone, nobody can judge you for doing whatever it is you want to do!

Image: Emples

When you do slow your talk, you’ll realise that people are likely to listen more carefully to what you say and less likely to tune out, as you create an authoritative air.

Actor John Wayne once advised to “Talk low, talk slow, and don’t talk too much.”

Finding the balance can be hard but slow talk is a fundamental part of Slow Life.

If you’re talking fast then the chances are that you are thinking fast too. However talking fast is not just necessarily a factor of having a lot to say, it could also suggest that you’re feeling uneasy in a social situation – or more generally with life. When you’re feeling rushed, your words mimic your attitude.
It’s good to observe your feelings when you are aware that you are talking quickly to understand the root cause.

Remember the lyrics of singer Louis Armstrong, “We have all the time in the world”.

Being overly aware of what you are saying can in itself can cause you to become nervous and jumble your words and the reverse is true that when you’re more in the flow and relaxed then you’re likely to be able to slow your speech down.

Practise reading aloud slowly and ensure you look the person you are talking to in the eye as much as possible. If you are on the phone, then imagine that there is a natural delay like when you call someone long distance.

It’s easier to listen due to a more natural rhythm created when deep breaths are taken. Most importantly, slow talk creates dialogue. Slow talking offers an open window called listening. By ensuring that each of your sentences have a clear conclusion allows those around you to add their opinions, ask questions and, ultimately, relate to you.

Image credit: rileyroxx

Parenting has changed dramatically in just 60 years. A significantly smaller number of children play in the street or near their home every day, women are having fewer children and at a later age; smacking is less popular; and mothers are spending much more time with their children, despite the increase in female employment.

If we cast our minds back prior to the Industrial Revolution, we can reminisce over a time when families would live with relatives and their own parents to ensure as much support as possible, as was the case particularly in Eastern Europe and across Asian cultures.  Some anthropologists believed that this organisation of family life was “universal” – that it filled all biological needs for humans.  Yet in the late 1960s that anthropologists considered tribes such as the South Mexican Zinacanteco Indians who lived in “houses” rather than “families” from as little as one to as many as twenty people.

Today it is thought that the trend for nuclear families –  or any strict family model for that matter – could be disappearing, with the Family and Parenting Institute declaring that one in four children are now  from single parent households, usually brought up solely by mothers. However the father’s role as a more active participant is becoming increasingly important, even if they are not living in the same household. More grandparents are providing the childcare for busy working mothers too, echoing the setup pre-Industrial Revolution.

There have always been trials to break away from the social norm, such as the communes that were inspired by the Women’s Liberation movement and tribal systems in the early 1970s. One such case is that of the Wild family, where children were raised in a non-sexist household in Islington, North London, where, energised by radical feminism, men and women were equals.  Al Garthwaite retold her experience in a Guardian article last year, prior to a Channel 4 documentary, Wild Things, which followed the commune founders and their now grown-up children.

“Non-biological parents were as equally important as biological parents”, which result in the children having many mums who were always fresh and able to provide the children with much attention. Some could say this is quite different to the frenzied parenting and childcare battle today.

A unique aspect of these communes was the choice of surname. Rather than the children taking the surname of the father or mother, all children born and raised there were named Wild.

The Wild communes spread to about ten communities across the UK by the mid 70s, before fading out a decade later. Yet the Wild surname legacy remains today.

What do you think about the nuclear family? Is there more to life than the usual approach? What is your slow parenting approach? jorg&olif would like to hear from you.

Image credit: jchatoff

So is multi-tasking really the most effective way to get work done? The simple answer is no, on the contrary. 

A study observing 262 college students by Stanford University researchers Eyal Ophir, Clifford Nass and Anthony Wagner, who published their findings in a recent Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, found that those who did a lot of multi-tasking were terrible at focusing and got easily distracted. In essence, the study found that multi-tasking trains us to focus on stuff that is irrelevant and doesn’t matter.

Instead of juggling several tasks and an ever increasing workload and busy social life at once, it’s time to simplify your chore list and – most of all - slow down. Start with re-evaluating the tasks on your to-do list. Are they really all necessary? Can they perhaps be batched together to free up time?

Leo Babauta, author of The Power of Less gives some great tips on how to single task on his blog Zen Habits. As a good starting point to simplify your workload he suggests looking at how you waste time: ” What are your common distractions? Perhaps things like email, reading blogs, Twitter or another social network? Set a time for these, preferably later in the day: say, from 3-4 p.m. Don’t do the distractions before then. By grouping them all into one time period, you allow yourself to do other work first, but still get in your distraction time. Another approach might be to do them for 10 minutes at the end of each hour — but stick to that 10-minute limit!”

Leo also suggests setting yourself a time limit on how many hours a day you work, checking your emails only three times a day, and generally taking time to focus on one task at a time. For more ideas check out this gerat list and get single-tasking.

image: theheartof.com.au

As its name suggests, microphilanthropy is all about developing a love of humanity, but in a more immediate and personal sense to philanthropy, which has more to do with charity and monetary donations. So how can you, as a tourist, show your love for humanity while discovering foreign parts?

At the most basic level, it’s about being courteous, respecting the customs of the place you’re visiting and not letting your holiday spoil anyone else’s day. If you live in an area that’s a popular destination for tourists, you’ll already have a pretty good idea of what constitutes ‘respectful’ behaviour — and also what doesn’t!

You might want to start by learning a bit of the language, even if it’s just the basic words you’ll need to be polite, and try to use it wherever possible. Try to learn a bit about every small area you visit – is it a lively location or one where you’ll need to keep quiet? Are there any dress codes to be observed?

On another level, microphilanthropy is about supporting local industry and understanding the economic setup of the place you’re visiting well enough to spend money ethically and wisely. By supporting local artisan businesses, musicians, small producers and those struggling to make a living, you could play a huge role in another person or family’s livelihood.

As we benefit from our rich lifestyles in the West, we’re well placed to make a difference when we travel. Just remember to be courteous and as generous as you can be, and your holiday will promote happiness that goes a long way beyond the walls of your villa or hotel.

Image: Robert Swier

In fact, many couples worry about the onslaught of clutter that may follow them back down the aisle after doing the deed, so a great way to fend off the unwanted offerings of well-intentioned relatives is to ask them to donate to charity instead of giving presents.

How can you ensure your wish not to acquire any more nick-nacks is followed? To make life easier, some charities have set up wedding lists that help your guests to help the needy with nothing more than a small donation and a tick of a box.

Oxfam Unwrapped is one of the best known charity gift list services, although a quick google search reveals many more, so you can tailor your donation request to a cause you care about.

Despite your best intentions, you may find that some family members in particular may want to buy you a gift come hell, high water or recession, so what can you do if you want genuinely useful presents that won’t end up cluttering up the house? Here are a few suggestions.

Tree2MyDoor offers a tree dedication service that lets you choose from a range of native UK tree varieties that can be planted as part of the wedding ceremony itself, while the Dedicate A Tree gift box, available at £19.99 ensures that a tree will be planted and nurtured in an area where it’s most needed to help the environment.

Green gift lists offer a guilt-free alternative to the traditional wedding list, so you could always create one of these alongside your requests for charitable donations. By Nature has a facility to set up a wedding list online, where your guests can choose from eco-friendly fashion and beauty products, homewares, energy saving gadgets and more. Our Green Wedding List is another useful resource.

Getting married should be a fresh start, and you’ll feel better entering into it with a clear conscience. Make sure your guests know this, and your celebration can extend far beyond your wedding day, helping those who really need thoughtful gifts.