Parenting has changed dramatically in just 60 years. A significantly smaller number of children play in the street or near their home every day, women are having fewer children and at a later age; smacking is less popular; and mothers are spending much more time with their children, despite the increase in female employment.

If we cast our minds back prior to the Industrial Revolution, we can reminisce over a time when families would live with relatives and their own parents to ensure as much support as possible, as was the case particularly in Eastern Europe and across Asian cultures.  Some anthropologists believed that this organisation of family life was “universal” – that it filled all biological needs for humans.  Yet in the late 1960s that anthropologists considered tribes such as the South Mexican Zinacanteco Indians who lived in “houses” rather than “families” from as little as one to as many as twenty people.

Today it is thought that the trend for nuclear families –  or any strict family model for that matter – could be disappearing, with the Family and Parenting Institute declaring that one in four children are now  from single parent households, usually brought up solely by mothers. However the father’s role as a more active participant is becoming increasingly important, even if they are not living in the same household. More grandparents are providing the childcare for busy working mothers too, echoing the setup pre-Industrial Revolution.

There have always been trials to break away from the social norm, such as the communes that were inspired by the Women’s Liberation movement and tribal systems in the early 1970s. One such case is that of the Wild family, where children were raised in a non-sexist household in Islington, North London, where, energised by radical feminism, men and women were equals.  Al Garthwaite retold her experience in a Guardian article last year, prior to a Channel 4 documentary, Wild Things, which followed the commune founders and their now grown-up children.

“Non-biological parents were as equally important as biological parents”, which result in the children having many mums who were always fresh and able to provide the children with much attention. Some could say this is quite different to the frenzied parenting and childcare battle today.

A unique aspect of these communes was the choice of surname. Rather than the children taking the surname of the father or mother, all children born and raised there were named Wild.

The Wild communes spread to about ten communities across the UK by the mid 70s, before fading out a decade later. Yet the Wild surname legacy remains today.

What do you think about the nuclear family? Is there more to life than the usual approach? What is your slow parenting approach? jorg&olif would like to hear from you.

Image credit: jchatoff

A conversation while travelling is a perfect, unhindered opportunity to really listen without distraction to the person seated next to you – be it a stranger or friend – and, through shared conversation, be inspired by what you see along the way.

Talk helps the journey go faster and allows you to build up your trust of strangers, which over recent years has significantly diminished, particularly when we’re reminded by endless signs to be on the lookout for suspicious activity in a terrorist-fearing world.

I was on the train with friends just this weekend when within a minute of sitting down one of my friends had struck up a conversation with the stranger next to her and continued to talk with him for the rest of the journey.  As is the way, they swapped their own brief life stories. Through this they realised that they could help each other out with work and so by the end of journey had also swapped contact details. This same friend tells me how her grandfather would meet his friends on the bus instead of at a cafe, enjoying the benefit of gossiping about all they saw from the window, without paying the expense of a cup of tea. Her behaviour is evidently hereditary.

Those carrying children – the smaller the better – or pets have a relatively easy opportunity to speak with strangers as a comment about the cute, cheeky or rebellious behaviours of their little ones is the perfect opener to beginning a discussion.

Start with a light topic for conversation, and ask questions. There have always been popular opening lines for chitchat that are universal – from the weather to the international language of football, the latter of which we’re bound to see more of in the lead up to this year’s World Cup. Yet it could be paying a stranger a compliment through utilising your observation skills. Another friend of mine commented on a t-shirt a man was wearing and ended up dating him for several years. Given that they were both travelling, this is the ultimate speed dating.

Before Sunrise, the 1995 film directed by Richard Linklater about a girl (Julie Delpy) who jumps off her planned Eurorail journey with a boy (Ethan Hawke) for an unexpected romantic evening in Vienna, shows of the interesting conversations that can be struck up with a stranger, and encourages the importance of embracing a spontaneous spirit. Its sequel, Before Sunset (2004) provides an insight into the passage of time.

While many of the conversations you embark on are unlikely to lead to love or offer business contacts or inspiration, you never know until you try.

Image: jhartney

I’ve always loved the idea of human wings, but why would evolution give them to us?

As we reflect human evolution here at jorg&olif, it is challenging to consider it without giving some thought to the leaps and bounds in medical science. When we have technology at our fingertips, evolution is no longer a biological natural selection concept. We can play with our genes.

While some are excited by this, I know that the potential of medical science hugely frightens me, particularly after reading Bryan Appleyard’s thought-provoking book, How to Live Forever or Die Trying. It ponders questions about what eternal life would mean for humans, and what would happen if “death became negotiable, would we still fall in love or have children?” Plus, it raises a valid question as to whether living forever is deeply selfish, given the infinite potential of population. Could that cause a slow and devastating extinction?

Apparently, the first person to live to be 1,000 years old has already been born…

Gene manipulation could be seen as slowing down and considering humans more carefully. But, in my eyes it is actually speeding up what has only ever been a natural process.  Are we rushing into the unknown?

Some evolutionary theorists such as Oliver Curry believe that H.G. Wells 1895 novel The Time Machine and Aldous Huxley’s 1932 book Brave New World – where there are distinct divisions of human classes – may be quite insightful. We just need to wait 100,000 years for it to be verified. In the meantime, the next 1,000 years will make us all equally coffee-coloured.

Curry, who has been working in this area for some time, does not specifically confirm my theory of super-strength thumbs but I think it’s quite suggestive given his comments that we may “pay a genetic price for technology”.

With our technological direction, there is another alarming statement from Curry: “Social skills, such as communicating and interacting with others, could be lost, along with emotions such as love, sympathy, trust and respect.”

As humans evolve, I am sure that our emotions are developing too, and, aside from the horrors of modern-day war that tends to stem purely from greed (or those fighting it), compared with 100 years ago, we appear to be a more social race, where new dads get paternity leave, minority groups can vote and fundamentally we all believe in equal rights.

And don’t we slow down to debate the philosophies of utilitarianism, libertarianism and moral worth and, – the most contentious of them all – religious beliefs and what we teach our children about evolution? Through social evolution, we have choices and, I believe, responsibility.

A caring species, in times of need when there are no sides, we more often than not come together in times of natural disaster to support and soothe our fellow homosapiens, such as the Indian Ocean Tsunami of 2004 and more recently, the Haiti earthquake.

Regardless of how we may act under political and corporate duress, as a collective we don’t really like destruction.

We must be reminded of what Charles Darwin himself stated:
In the long history of humankind (and animal kind, too) those who learned to collaborate and improvise most effectively have prevailed.

Darwin Day

Image 1: Ryan Somma
Image 2: Paul Keller
Image 3: Woodley Wonderworks

How can you create a less hurried, more rounded learning environment  for your child in a fast-paced world? The Steiner method is one of the most established educational philosophies that allows children to discover the world at their own pace, and in many ways it can be seen as a form of Slow Education.

Not every child can enjoy the benefits of a full Steiner education, but its basic principles extend far beyond the classroom, and can be used by parents to help children learn and grow at home.

The Steiner method essentially lets children take the lead in where they want their learning to go, giving natural aptitudes and interests the chance to develop naturally. It sits at odds with the idea that early specialisation breeds academic success, and aims to develop children’s physical, emotional, intellectual, cultural and spiritual needs equally.

There are many ways that this philosophy can be put into practice at home, but a few important guidelines are:

Let your child be a child. Let him or her enjoy the richness of childhood without feeling the need to grow up too fast. Some parents worry if their children seem less mature than their peers, but unless there is a definite cause for concern, such as not developing speech within a normal age range, then they are probably just enjoying this precious time that’s over much too quickly for all of us.

Answer your child’s questions. Many parents tire of their children’s constant questioning on every small detail of life, but this natural curiosity is where learning starts, and it should be nurtured wherever possible. If an answer is not within your capabilities, take your child to the library and help him or her find the answer.

Think about the five principles of the Steiner method and make sure that none of these areas are neglected: physical, emotional, intellectual, cultural and spiritual.

If you’d like to know more about the principles of Steiner education, Lynne Oldfield’s Free To Learn is a useful title, available on Amazon.

Image: Kevin Krejci

Having a book read to us is one of the most special moments I remember from my childhood and, as the Society for Storytelling tells us, it “is at the root of every art form: we think in story form, make sense of our world in narrative – from something we’ve seen – from last night’s television, to what family and folk stories we remember and retell.”

The 10th Annual National Storytelling Week (30th January – 6th February) reminds us that it’s the most traditional form for communicating “from generation to generation” that entertains, educates, and provides therapy.

I fondly remember once being tucked into bed and rather than asking for my usual fix of Enid Blyton, Roald Dahl, Rudyard Kipling and Beatrix Potter, I asked for a unique story just for me.

At first, the stories were not particularly forthcoming, my parent was embarrassed and nervous that they wouldn’t get it right, that their storytelling skills weren’t up to scratch. But I patiently waited and eventually, regardless of the result, I was happy for the time my parents’ spent with me.

This instigated a new evening routine where books were put to one side as I listened to my parent, scrabbling from their minds a story that wouldn’t be in any book. Certainly there were elements borrowed from the fables, myths and fairytales of my bookshelf, but I delighted in the mystery of what my parents created. They were unique, often personal and involved a little girl who had the same name and address as me, who rather than going to sleep went on midnight adventures in her garden of fairies. The time was for both of us.

During National Storytelling Week both adults and children alike can embrace the enjoyment of a story by partaking in events within the local community, such as those put on by the School of Storytelling in East Sussex, or at the Scottish Storytelling Centre in Edinburgh.

What’s your favourite story? And who told it? jorg&olif would love for you to share your fond memories with us, below.

Photo 1: Flickrized
Photo 2: Nathalielaure