Being alone is one of our greatest fears, and many people panic at the prospect of even a short period of enforced solitude. What is it we dislike so much about our own company — and how can we actually learn to enjoy it?
Humans are naturally sociable creatures, so it’s no wonder we tend to seek out company whenever possible. But it’s good to remind ourselves once in a while that we don’t need other people around us at all times, and that a bit of quality me-time can be hugely beneficial to our general wellbeing.
Firstly, it can be rewarding to discover that we can face up to the world and its many challenges without the help of others. ‘Going it alone’, whether ‘it’ is a holiday, a project or just a daytrip somewhere can remove the sense of reliance on other people, and can be a great confidence boost. It can also feel tremendously freeing to have no responsibilities other than for ourselves, however briefly!
But far more importantly, periods of solitude teach us how to live with the one person we’ll never be apart from whatever happens: ourself. Having only our own thoughts to contend with can be difficult, challenging and even painful (there’s a reason why solitary confinement is considered a punishment in jails and in schools the world over!) because it forces us to come to terms with every last corner of our own minds.
In being alone, we come to know ourselves, and the very reason why it can be difficult is also why solitude is so essential to a clear and healthy mind. Taking time to reflect on what we’ve done, to learn from it and to face up to those inner ‘demons’ is a rewarding exercise, and in today’s hectic world, most people could benefit from doing it more often.
Finally, me-time can be a good opportunity to re-acquaint ourselves with what makes us who were are, free from the judgement or scrutiny of others. Whether that’s going shopping, watching old movies, baking dozens of cakes or dressing up, we need time to do the things that we really enjoy, whether or not our family members, co-workers or close friends ‘get it’. When you’re alone, nobody can judge you for doing whatever it is you want to do!
Image: Emples
